Mindfulness - how my daughter teaches me to be here and now


In our daily hustle life we barely stop to drink a cold coffee... We live fast (and furious :) ), always running to or from something. We're almost never here and now, we plan, we think, we expect, we worry, or we recall our previous conversations, we think back what was done and what could have been done instead (uuu veeery often), who did what and how... and many other things occupy our minds. And there is no space for being in the present, being present. We might not be aware of it, but this is stealing our calmness and peace - not being able to stop our minds and to be here and now...for us, for our children, for our loved ones.

I'm Here and Now

Mindfulness teaches us how to be present, how to be here and now. When we were kids, it used to be natural, we didn't even think about, like breathing.  We lost our ability to be present somewhere on the road to be more proactive, effective, busy, delivering performance... and we are no longer able to stop. We think that when we are busy we are creating some quality, that busyness is quality of itself... Well, I used to be like that, not being able to rest when everything is not done and in its place, always thinking ahead, planning, being nervous when my husband was able just to lie down on a couch while I still saw what had to be done or I felt there is no time now to be just sitting and doing nothing. Ok, correction, I'm still like that 😀 but a little bit more aware of the need to be able to stop - stop thinking, overthinking, planning, worrying, and again planning and expecting. When I master this skill, I would be the happiest and calmest person in the world. And that's where the mindfulness comes to the picture. I'm no guru who is able to meditate anywhere and anytime, and that's not my ambition. I've been reading about mindfulness for some time now, even though not practising it...until... I become a mother. That's when my planning and expectations hit the wall... and I was very very upset about it... I used to be very well organized, everything in my mind had it's place and time, and suddenly there is this little bundle that has no plan at all, and shows you what you can do with your plans 😄. You know what I mean... 

And here comes the beauty of it... I was forced to drop my plans, household, cooking, cleaning...everything and put it on hold... and just be with her... lying down with her during her daysleep - what gave me time to read, fantastic opportunity that I couldn't have imagined in the first months after birth. So there I was, peaceful, not doing anything that needed to be done, reading book after book during her morning or afternoon sleep. Sometimes I napped as well, what I couldn't have done in the beginning, when I was always worried, my thoughts couldn't stop, I couldn't rested. 

And I finally realized how important it is for me to stop during the day, to have a few minutes just for myself, drinking my noon coffee, having a piece of cake, savouring the moment. This is my 5 - 10 min daily mindfulness exercise. And when I finish my WARM coffee I continue with the self-development activities. 

The results are profound - I'm more calm, I have more patience, I dedicate this time to myself, either reading something, or now when I've started my business writing something, managing the website. If I hadn't dedicated this time to myself, I wouldn't have even think about becoming self-employed  and start a business (well, certainly not now, even I thought about it before pregnancy). 

I've just read what I wrote and I'm starting to have a feeling that I'm far away of the point here. I wanted to write about how my daughter teaches me to be here and now by being with herself. Especially when she learns something, when we're out and she is fascinated by the nature, by the smallest ant that is running between her feet, by the butterflies and wind and water and whatever she sees. And the beauty of it is that I HAVE TO STOP and BE THERE with her, AT THAT MOMENT, and I STOP MY THOUGHTS and just LET MY SENSES TO BE PRESENT. Try it, with or without kids. Just try it for 60 seconds, stop, wherever you are and look around. Stop and see, feel, hear, touch...what comes natural to you. And then stay with the feeling and realize what you realize. How do you feel? I know I feel more peaceful. And that is what MINDFULNESS teaches us. And that is what you can learn through coaching, 

We're all busy bees, and not always with the right activities. If I haven't been able to stop and dedicate some time to myself, you wouldn't be reading this. If I hadn't ALLOWED MYSELF to slow down, to not to do anything "important", just to be here and now with my coffee, my book,  I wouldn't realize that I want to be coaching NOW. I'm thankful to my daughter that she has been teaching me to be HERE AND NOW. I still have a long way to go, but I've started the journey.